With the sexual revolution which is been propagated enormously in our current century, boys and girls are now taught that they have a right to have sex, no matter the age since sex is all a game and a very interesting one at that. As such the only rule they have to apply to this game is to play it safe by using condoms, which will prevent them from HIV/AIDS and other STD’s. This erroneous mentality has led to the fall of the virtue of chastity mostly among the youths, who are under pressure from peers to have sex at very young ages. In the European world it is common for youths below 18 to have sex, even in classes. In Nigeria it is gradually becoming a norm among the youths, even in secondary schools, in the universities if you are still a virgin, you have not started life.
With this hardly many marry their spouses as virgins. Gone are the days, when couples had the pride of walking down the aisle as virgins. In the days of our parents and grandparents it was a highly respected act to be virgins before marriage, and for non-compliance women were not allowed to wear white. But now it has now become a scandal to be a virgin till marriage, since the couples are looked at as person who are inexperienced and would not fit properly into married life and paradoxically this make virgins feel inferior and ashamed since they think they are living abnormal.
This attitude is threatening, because it means that we live in a society where virtue is condemned and vices are praised, glorified and encouraged. There is no doubt that striving to maintain one’s virginity before marriage is going to be very very tough, precisely that is why it is a virtue. To live this virtue really demands temperance and self-mastery that is why in the real sense, only men and women can live this virtue, while those who cannot control themselves or their passions are like animals that live only by instincts.
Also sex before marriage is a wound to the ideals of marriage. Marriage is a call to total commitment to death do them part, any guy who claims he loves a girl and cannot wait till the marriage day before he engages in sexual intercourse is like Messi on the football pitch.
Contrary to what is been propagated, sex is not game, neither is it a recreational activity meant for every tom, dick and harry. Sex which is the creation of God is reserved for only married couples. If this is changed we destroy society, we tell people that they can have their way to get good things without hard work but through the back door.
It is like giving a person a university degree, when he never came for lectures or took any exam. Having a university degree is very good no doubt, but if anyone wants it let he /she go to a university and pass through the normal means, which we now is not very easy. If university degrees are not given easily why should sex be brought to the level of a game or made accessible to all.
In the quest for this virtue many sometimes see no encouragement because it seems to them that everybody is doing it and therefore it is acceptable, point of correction, everybody is not doing it and your name is not everybody, and I am very sure that if everybody were eating their parents, you would not also do that.
In issues like this, many see no role models, since those in the Hollywood, Nollywood or celebrities in general who we follow as models do not give any better example.
But there is a young man, who despite all odds in a morally corrupt society like America is telling us to be proud to be virgins. It pays and it is worthwhile. This guy is Prince Amukamara and am proud to say, he is a Nigerian. Amukamara plays cornerback for the New York Giants, and helped his team win a Super Bowl victory as a rookie player in 2012.
In an interview in the October issue of Muscle and Fitness magazine the openly Christian 24-year-old reveals that not only has he never had a sip of alcohol, he is still a virgin and plans to remain so until he marries his fiancée, Pilar Davis, early next year. He credits his abstinence from both alcohol and sex to his Catholic upbringing and Christian faith, and jokes that his squeaky-clean personal life combined with his tendency to kneel and pray on the football field has some people calling him “the black Tim Tebow.”
What I liked most was when he told interviewer Matt Tuthill, that he was not ashamed to say he is a virgin.
Amukamara, challenges us to fight in our quest to be men and women of virtue and in the 21st century to be men and women who live the virtue of chastity.
A clarion call to our celebrities, in this current era you have become the virtual parents of millions of youth who listen to your songs, watch your films, follow their lifestyle, as such the youths of today learn a lot from you. Consequently you have a social responsibility of being examples of loyalty, respect, altruism and virtue.
For those who unfortunately are not virgins, they could say, what is the point? The post is not for me, it came too late, I can continue my previous way of life. Not so fast, fortunately this post will not be a waste, since there is a second virginity, which is abstinence till marriage.
It works, and is rewarding, Prince Amukamara, among others are trying it out. You can do it.